“Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)”
1 Timothy 3:2-5
Entitlement is very rampant nowadays. Knowingly or unknowingly, we all want it, right? We crave validation because we feel we deserve it. We want special treatment because we think highly of ourselves or believe we are superior. While this is part of human nature, having an entitlement mentality can harm us and the people we love. It can lead to conflicts in relationships, disappointments, sadness, and, in the worst cases, depression. Ultimately, it affects how we treat others and how we relate to them.
One of the toxic attitudes I have observed in the ministry is entitlement. The imposition of titles can sometimes feel suffocating, but I do not mind, as long as it aligns with God’s Word—I will submit. Respect is necessary and expected, but at times, it is not given wholeheartedly. In this world, no matter what you do, people will always judge you.
Years ago, when the late Primate Ricardo M. Alcaraz was newly appointed to the Office of the Primacy, I was given a task of writing about his life and works. I began recording his activities, teachings, and other related matters. However, I did not have access to certain details about his travels and other engagements.
As I mentioned in my previous blog, "Who Do You Say I Am?", I held back for years, even though I was reminded countless times to continue. I ignored the prompting for a long time, but it continued to trouble me. This year, however, the conviction has become so strong that I can no longer resist it.
One of the things I admired most about the late Primate was his humility. He never sought entitlement, even after he was installed as the Primate of the Territory of Asia. He never insisted on being called “Archbishop,” nor did he add “D.D.” after his name. In fact, he did not mind at all when we simply addressed him as “Bishop.”
I may not write all the life and works of the late Primate in this blog but I will write the things I witnessed most especially when I voluntarily joined the Admin work after my Boracay mission.
These are the accounts of Primate Ricardo M. Alcaraz being the Shepherd of the Charismatic Episcopal Church – Territory of Asia:
“The Overseer Is To Be Above Reproach”
The late Primate Ricardo M. Alcaraz lived in such a truthful and upright way that his life itself became a pattern or standard that others could look up to and emulate. He usually said that “a good name is better than great wealth” (Proverbs 22:1).
“Faithful To His Wife”
He was a man who cherished, respected, and remained true to his wife, Sis Nemia. I witnessed their renewal of vows during their 25th wedding anniversary and saw how they worked together as a team in the ministry. Yes, they also had their sweet and sour moments, which sometimes amused me.
“Temperate”
He is temperate in his speech, and I never saw him shouting or overreacting, except when demonstrating something during his homily. He was calm and patient even when angry. He would never humiliate anyone in public; instead, he corrected gently and respectfully.
There were instances when he became angry with minister/s, yet he handled it professionally. He can win people over at first sight, but if you don’t catch his message, that is when he would call your attention.
“Self-controlled”
He was the type of person who made decisions based on Godly principles rather than whims. His guiding principle was to pray first before taking any action. If he said, “We’ll see,” after a conversation, you knew you had to wait patiently for his decision.
“Respectable”
He is a person worthy of admiration and trust. He consistently practices what he preaches and never advocates anything in which he does not sincerely believe. He valued your commitment and dedication in doing the kingdom work.
“Hospitable”
Primate Ricardo was a hospitable person, in addition to being a man of faith. He was friendly, welcoming, and generous toward guests and strangers. His warmth and kindness made others feel comfortable in his presence.
I remember one time when I was working alone in the office and he passed by. I think he had just returned from running errands. When he saw me, he asked Sis Nemia if I had already had lunch, and when he learned that I hadn’t, he invited me to join them.
Another instance was during the Word of God in Motion Workshop, where other churches and denominations were invited. Although the plan was for individuals to bring their own lunches, but considering that we were the hosts, he instructed the administration to provide packed lunches for everyone.
“Able To Teach”
People say that Primate is a good teacher. Yes, he was and he was not just knowing something, but also being able to help others understand and learn it.
You can check out his teaching series in these links. Psalm 91: God's Promises of Protection and Faith For Our Times.
“Not Given To Drunkenness”
Apart from drinking wine, I only saw him once have a bottle of San Mig Light, and that was during a family gathering. I never saw him drunk. While I cannot speak for every occasion, I can attest that he was not a drunkard.
If I remember correctly, there was an occasion when he addressed the clergy who had been drinking with the youth, calling their attention to the matter.
“Not Violent But Gentle, Not Quarrelsome”
From what I observed, the Primate was gentle. I cannot speak for others, but he was a calm and peace-loving person, with a demeanor that avoided quarrels and a spirit that fostered harmony.
“Not A Lover Of Money”
Since the Primate was generous, he was not a lover of money. He lived by the principle of being “blessed to be a blessing,” and many can testify to that.
He was faithful in giving his tithes and managed his finances responsibly. He was always willing to help others, saving not only for family but also for the welfare of the church.
I remember a particular church that was struggling for their house of worship. When he learned of their need, he proposed a system to help them save and took responsibility for accountability.
During his pastoral visits, he often returned unused travel allowances with proper liquidation. He never charged his personal expenses to the church that invited him, because for him, it was an opportunity to minister. This was his way of living out the principle of being “blessed to be a blessing.”
“He Must Manage His Own Family Well And See That His Children Obey Him”
Effective leadership in the church or community begins at home. Being both a father and a bishop is not an easy task, yet the Primate fulfilled it by the grace of God.
One of their house rules that inspired me was the dining table arrangement. The order within the family was reflected even there, along with the use of a bell to call everyone together for meals. No one would leave the table until the meal was finished, unless there was an urgent matter or work to attend to, in which case they would excuse themselves. Mealtime for them was also family time, a moment for fellowship and connection.
There are many more qualities that the Primate possessed as a shepherd, but for now, I can only share these with you.
Does your bishop reflect the qualities described in 1 Timothy 3:2–5? If not, make a personal prayer based on this Scripture, and wait upon the Lord for His answer. God bless!
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