March 13, 2011
1600-2200
1st Sunday in Lent
Hmmm.... Why A Kiss of Temptation?....
It started for just a thought, "Which is powerful? A hug or a kiss?" I posted this thought to my YM status 2 years ago and some of my friends commented on this. We had healthy conversation and kind of satisfying answers. I do respect their own opinion.....
Again, a passing thought came to my mind. It was a lustful thought I would say but it was just out of curiosity. I'm not serious about it, honestly speaking. All I want at that time is to get an answer. I'm not rushing. My mind will not stop wandering. I will not ask if I know, right?
What was that lustful thought? ..... "How does it feels if somebody would kiss your neck?" What a stupid question, right? Who do you think can give me a satisfying answer? -- the one who experienced it! Would you agree?..... Who cares?!
I can't recall why I've to ask God this stupid question but I did. I don't ask anybody. I don't want people to mis-interpret me. I'm really sure that if I'm gonna ask God, He will give me the right answer. I don't know everything. I'm in the process of growing up or I would say, adolescence, am I? hehehe.. I didn't get God's answer right away. He is so gracious that He allowed things to happened to know it by myself.
I asked God how it feels and it simply means - an action to be made of. Along with this thought, I prayed God that if ever it will come or may happen to me, may my reaction be normal, I will not be out of my mind and (that) I'm prepared for it. Sigh! It seems like, I'm going to undergo testing on what I asked for.
Months past. I even forgot what I asked because it was just a thought but God didn't. He really prepared me for the appointed time. Indeed, He honored what I prayed. He is really faithful and His ways - very amazing.
The night of busy day, Clamar visited me. We ate dinner and had our bonding moment at Summer Place. I noticed the professional prostitute nearby seducing Clamar. I told him about it but he told me to ignore it. This woman looked intently to us and her movements were really seducing him. I laughed inside because maybe, she thought Clamar is really a foreigner. He really looks like because of his FilAm father. Clamar became aggressive as he cling to me. It even came to a point that I'm about to fall on the edge point of the bench. I evaded my body to him. I told him to sit properly and he did so but from time to time, he seduced me.
Here we go. Nobody was home except us. I'm about to go to my room when he suddenly embrace me so tight. Unexpected moment. I tried to free myself to him but I can't. He was on my back and he's very aggressive. I told him to set me free but instead, he adhered all the more. "Just allow me to do so" he whispered. I allowed him. Not that I wanted too but because I reserved my strength just in case he will exceed to the limit.
I felt his chin on my right shoulder. My mind was kind of alert that time. I'm waiting for a chance to free myself. I stayed calm inside me. The next move stop my world. I mean, I was shocked! I felt like frozen in seconds. Clamar kissed me from my right shoulder to my neck. It was gentle but lustful kind of kiss. Oohh, I'm in trouble now. Without hesitation, I stoop and refused to be kissed again. I know that if I will not do something, worst will gonna happen. I sternly told him to release me and I compelled to do so. He eventually set me free as I kept on resisting. He really felt sorry. I told him not to do it again and he did so.
Whew! The essence is almost there but God didn't allow it. Of course. I only asked how it feels and He granted it. He gave exactly what I asked. A kiss of temptation that will cause me to commit something if I'm not guarded. I mean, prayer works. It happened the way I prayed months before the appointed time. I never knew that Clamar will be the instrument - to know the answer and the intervention of God was there.
I was able to endure the test. Sigh! I thanked God because I wasn't out of my mind at the time of temptation. If I'm not aware of God's mercies at that time, maybe, I fail. If I'm not surrounded by prayer maybe I committed unlawful acts. If I allowed temptation, maybe, I'm tempted.
Seriously speaking, I can't explain exactly how I felt the gentle but lustful kiss. What I knew was - normal. That kind of kiss penetrates me but after all, it gone. I slept peaceably that night. I felt nothing at all. Unlike the scorching heat (https://gemskyadventure.blogspot.com/2010/11/scorching-heat.html) it lasted for about 3 - 5 days.
I was so amazed on how God answered me in His own ways. I thought, He will answer me by sending somebody to talk with and tell me how it really feels like but no, I've to experience it by myself for me not to wander anymore. Indeed, the curiosity stop there.
I was inspired of today's Gospel - Matthew 4:1-11. I wrote this moment of my life to prove that in facing temptation, "God gave us the opportunity to do what is right and He hopes that we will succeed." (one of the messages I received from the homily of Bp. Dick)
So, what will you choose now? A hug or a kiss? Whatever it is, please let me know...hehehehe
1600-2200
1st Sunday in Lent
Hmmm.... Why A Kiss of Temptation?....
It started for just a thought, "Which is powerful? A hug or a kiss?" I posted this thought to my YM status 2 years ago and some of my friends commented on this. We had healthy conversation and kind of satisfying answers. I do respect their own opinion.....
Again, a passing thought came to my mind. It was a lustful thought I would say but it was just out of curiosity. I'm not serious about it, honestly speaking. All I want at that time is to get an answer. I'm not rushing. My mind will not stop wandering. I will not ask if I know, right?
What was that lustful thought? ..... "How does it feels if somebody would kiss your neck?" What a stupid question, right? Who do you think can give me a satisfying answer? -- the one who experienced it! Would you agree?..... Who cares?!
I can't recall why I've to ask God this stupid question but I did. I don't ask anybody. I don't want people to mis-interpret me. I'm really sure that if I'm gonna ask God, He will give me the right answer. I don't know everything. I'm in the process of growing up or I would say, adolescence, am I? hehehe.. I didn't get God's answer right away. He is so gracious that He allowed things to happened to know it by myself.
I asked God how it feels and it simply means - an action to be made of. Along with this thought, I prayed God that if ever it will come or may happen to me, may my reaction be normal, I will not be out of my mind and (that) I'm prepared for it. Sigh! It seems like, I'm going to undergo testing on what I asked for.
Months past. I even forgot what I asked because it was just a thought but God didn't. He really prepared me for the appointed time. Indeed, He honored what I prayed. He is really faithful and His ways - very amazing.
The night of busy day, Clamar visited me. We ate dinner and had our bonding moment at Summer Place. I noticed the professional prostitute nearby seducing Clamar. I told him about it but he told me to ignore it. This woman looked intently to us and her movements were really seducing him. I laughed inside because maybe, she thought Clamar is really a foreigner. He really looks like because of his FilAm father. Clamar became aggressive as he cling to me. It even came to a point that I'm about to fall on the edge point of the bench. I evaded my body to him. I told him to sit properly and he did so but from time to time, he seduced me.
Here we go. Nobody was home except us. I'm about to go to my room when he suddenly embrace me so tight. Unexpected moment. I tried to free myself to him but I can't. He was on my back and he's very aggressive. I told him to set me free but instead, he adhered all the more. "Just allow me to do so" he whispered. I allowed him. Not that I wanted too but because I reserved my strength just in case he will exceed to the limit.
I felt his chin on my right shoulder. My mind was kind of alert that time. I'm waiting for a chance to free myself. I stayed calm inside me. The next move stop my world. I mean, I was shocked! I felt like frozen in seconds. Clamar kissed me from my right shoulder to my neck. It was gentle but lustful kind of kiss. Oohh, I'm in trouble now. Without hesitation, I stoop and refused to be kissed again. I know that if I will not do something, worst will gonna happen. I sternly told him to release me and I compelled to do so. He eventually set me free as I kept on resisting. He really felt sorry. I told him not to do it again and he did so.
Whew! The essence is almost there but God didn't allow it. Of course. I only asked how it feels and He granted it. He gave exactly what I asked. A kiss of temptation that will cause me to commit something if I'm not guarded. I mean, prayer works. It happened the way I prayed months before the appointed time. I never knew that Clamar will be the instrument - to know the answer and the intervention of God was there.
I was able to endure the test. Sigh! I thanked God because I wasn't out of my mind at the time of temptation. If I'm not aware of God's mercies at that time, maybe, I fail. If I'm not surrounded by prayer maybe I committed unlawful acts. If I allowed temptation, maybe, I'm tempted.
Seriously speaking, I can't explain exactly how I felt the gentle but lustful kiss. What I knew was - normal. That kind of kiss penetrates me but after all, it gone. I slept peaceably that night. I felt nothing at all. Unlike the scorching heat (https://gemskyadventure.blogspot.com/2010/11/scorching-heat.html) it lasted for about 3 - 5 days.
I was so amazed on how God answered me in His own ways. I thought, He will answer me by sending somebody to talk with and tell me how it really feels like but no, I've to experience it by myself for me not to wander anymore. Indeed, the curiosity stop there.
I was inspired of today's Gospel - Matthew 4:1-11. I wrote this moment of my life to prove that in facing temptation, "God gave us the opportunity to do what is right and He hopes that we will succeed." (one of the messages I received from the homily of Bp. Dick)
So, what will you choose now? A hug or a kiss? Whatever it is, please let me know...hehehehe
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