If one day someone would tell you that your days are numbered, how would you react? If one day you yourself would receive a message or vision that somebody will die, it might be a friend, a member of your family or colleagues, would you tell that person directly?
January 19, 2023, all lines were busy. The signal was static and even the crossline can’t penetrate. What’s going on? Why all the communication lines were not working? We also don’t know and all our effort in getting access proved futile.
When the office landline rang, I answered and I heard Lalaine crying on the other line. I told her to calm down first as I can’t understand what she uttered. After a while, she informed me that Judge Exmundo expired. 🥹 I was stunned so I tried to compose myself. Later on, I informed my officemates and we immediately went to the hospital.
Who would have thought that he departed that soon when we just had a Court hearing a day before the incident? That was a shocking news for us and to be honest, I can’t cry. At that time, I’ve no words to describe what or how I felt because I don’t know how to react. I tried to console myself as I was caught on the act unprepared. I didn't know that it was too soon. Did I know that he will passed away that day? Absolutely NOT. What I only knew was, “his days are numbered.” As to when and how, I don't have any idea.
“Is that it, Lord?” I asked. "Am I responsible of his death, Lord?" One way or the other, I'm kind of guilty. I mean, I knew it will happened but I don’t say anything to him. I felt lost and condemned. If only I have the courage to tell Judge Ex about it, maybe, his life has been extended but how would I know that it was really his time? Did the grace period already ended?
September or October of 2022, I heard this question when I entered the chamber of Judge Ex for my Orders, “Don’t you know that his days are numbered?” I'm kind of startled when I heard it. "What does it mean, "his days are numbered?"" I silently asked but no answer. Sigh. 😟 Eventhough I'm bothered about it, I just dismissed the thought and rebuked it.
From 2020 to 2022, I've various dreams about Judge Ex. Some of them were kind of weird like, he was on the fight, shooting and car accident, among others. So whenever he was on travel, I prayed for his safety and protection. I know that my dreams were not just dreams but sometimes, it's a warning.
Should I tell Judge Ex that his days are numbered or not? If I'm going to tell him, how would he react? It's kind of taboo, right? Do I have responsibility if I'm going to keep it? Those were questions that played my mind. Since I'm hesitant to confront the situation, I just kept the matter and prayed that God will prepare him spirit, soul and body. Of course, I've to do something about the preparation too and the first thing I did was to pray.
I was contemplating how to relay the message to Judge Ex but I can't find the right timing to do so. But alas, it was never a coincidence that he was my monito for our Christmas party. Though I had a hard time in chosing a gift for him for four (4) weeks, I'm satisfied that he liked what I gave him. In every gift, there was corresponding words of encouragement or quotes or scripture as a simple reminder that in every plans of man, still, God's will be done and because of that, Judge Ex knew that I was his monita as there was no other staff can do that except me, he said.
The first gift I gave him was massage rub. It signifies how he touched people's lives through his good works. Second gift was a planner. It's not my first choice actually but since I learned that he has travel plans for 2023 and his last days moment, I decided to buy it. He teased me when he received it because he thought, it's a bible - actually my first choice but it's just a planner.
To be candid, I supposed to give him a bible as a gift but again, I'm hesitant because in my mind, he's a judge and he's familiar with scriptures too as he's a religious man also. I doubted that he has no bible at home, right? so I shifted to a planner. Why I gave him a planner? Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." In my heart, I'm hoping that he will understand my way of saying, "you can't go any further." 🥹
Judge Ex is an energetic and a cheerful person. You can't see him suffering from any illness. He may told you that he had a headache or something wrong with his body but you will never see him in weakness. Since I knew his condition, I gave him a portable medical kit where he can organize his medicines on daily basis with the note that he has to take care of his health. I was delighted when I learned that he was satisfied about it. He never thought that there was kind of portable medical kit.
December 16, 2022, Christmas party. We had our dance presentation where we dressed him as Santa Claus. He loved to entertain people, you know, and as requested, we added his dance craze in our presentation. After we dance his favorite steps, he started throwing money and candies to the audience which he enjoyed.
In our program, I gave him my last gift - portable electric fan with the message that he has to free himself from stress and worries as well as to enjoy and feel the gentle breeze. It was one way of saying that he has to settle things before leaving.
When he delivered his message to us, I saw again the sadness in his eyes but only seconds just like during his birthday in Boracay. He tried to compose himself and I heard glimpses of saying goodbye. Mam Psyche and Mommy Grace interrupted his speech and indirectly rebuked the atmosphere of death, as if was his last Christmas with us. I supposed to take a video when he spoke to us but I choose to switched it to photo mode.
Judge Ex emotionally thanked us, reminiscing the early days in Court and the days he spent with us and the likes. For some, it was a casual message, for others, they sensed something was wrong but for me, I think he knew that his days are numbered. I'm not so sure but the way he delivered his message, it was like he knew what will gonna happen.
For the first time, in all Christmas party that I celebrated in RTC, Judge Ex stayed longer even after our program. Normally, he left first after the program or a little late but on that day, he didn't. He made sure that everything was fine and all of us were happy and satisfied with the party, not to mention that he bought our requested drinks without hesitation. I don't know for some but his actions were kind of unusual to me.
January 12, 2023. We talked about life insurance and other insurances but a week or two, he openly talked about it. He talked about sickness, those judges who died early last year, of course, the ultimate lovelife, among others. In my playful thought, I dared asked him if he also secured his insurance and other stuff. With a bit of smirk, he indirectly answered yes and made precautionary measure if ever. When I heard it, I'm relieved and I think, it affirmed my suspicion that he was aware of his last days. I mean, he was busy with his personal affairs for the last two or three months. He spent a lot of time with his family traveling and partying as well as doing business while working. He was able to disposed cases and released prisoners at the end of 2022.
Pondering about the last days of Judge Ronald H Exmundo, I can say that he enjoyed his life to the fullest before he departed. Maybe he was also aware what took place beforehand. I believe that before he passed away, God had reached him out. As to what happened during the grace period, just leave it to God and to the angels on assignment.
I may have regrets why I didn't tell Judge Ex that "his days are numbered" but by the grace and mercy of God, I believe that the burden of guilt feeling has been lifted up few months ago. I was able to cry, a cry of mourning of his death when I saw him passed by the hallway of the staff room.
To know what is coming is not an easy task. It takes courage to be bold enough and to speak up.
How I was able cope up from this burden? It was the grace and mercy of God that sustained me through the year.
Thank you Lord for everything. 🙏
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