Choose To Rejoice

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

One of the things that is hard to do when you face testing and trials is to REJOICE.  How can you rejoice when you are in the midst of circumstances?  Feeling okay though you were not?  Being in denial over the situation or you are just kind of hypocrite?  Whatever the world may call it, I have to make a choice to rejoice because that what the scriptures says in James 1:2 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials”.

I was riding the tricycle going home when I said to myself in front of St. John the Baptist Cathedral (the route where the driver unloaded passenger) that, “We (I) are blessed Lord because we never experience terminal cases of sickness unlike others who were in and out of the hospital and spent lot of money.”  I said that out of the blue.  It just crossed my mind and the cry of my heart.  If I could recall it right, J33 at that time was very busy and most of it were asking prayers for healing for cancers and accidents, I guess (I’m not so sure, it’s quite a long time).  I have that kind of thankful heart because we live a simple life and I like that.

When my mother was diagnosed of multiple mass on October 1, 2018, my world slightly deemed.  I was shocked but at the same time, I’m believing for God’s healing and miracle.  Though I took the result lightly, still, I have this little amount of fear and anxiety because we don’t have enough money for medication if ever things will get worse.  Doctors said that they can’t determine if the masses found in her stomach were cancer that’s why they referred us to have Citi scan then biopsy for us to take the next step of what to do.  We don’t have any health savings so how are we going to face it?  Then, I remembered the teaching of Mam Ining during our Ladies Prayer Breakfast on September 22, 2018 that “there is power in rejoicing and that it is the highest form of faith”.  From that day on, I choose to rejoice despite of circumstances because I do believe that God will do mighty works in the life of Nanay.

October 3, 2013, Nanay was hospitalized and because of God’s intervention, we found favor for the availability of the room despite the fact that it’s impossible to have one due to influx of patients, still, God opened doors of opportunities to us.  Dcn. Mel blessed the room and we were able to settle down. Our God is so big and great that He moved in mysterious ways because unexpected provisions and sponsors came in. 

While tending the needs of Nanay, my mind was troubled of so many “What If?”.  Though it’s hard not to entertain those thoughts but then, I have to trust God in everything.  I have this goal in my mind and in my heart to praise God no matter what.  I will not be moved to what I see, what I hear and what I feel but chose to rejoice in the Lord.  For in moment like this, I sing out a song “bless the Lord oh my soul, for I believe in God the Father, I believe in God the Son, I believe in the Holy Spirit, our God is three in one.  So then sing my soul, my Savior God to Thee, how great Thou Art, how great is our God, sing with me how great is our God and all will see how great, how great is our God.” (posted in my FB account on October 4, 2018.

During the sleepless nights, I played the praise and worship songs during the entire night as well as fighting against the spirit of death.  However, fear and anxiety were trying to come in but we kept on standing the ground and claiming God’s miracle and healing.  I know that God has a plan and purpose why it happened and we kept on praying and thanking God for His goodness and faithfulness for He deserve the highest praise.

My mother died in a sleep mode as I desire.  You can’t see the pain in her face.  She died beautifully and at peace because she was able to reconcile her relationship to God and to others.  She died where my family were rejoicing due to a birthday celebration of her grandson which she ate in advance with a smile her requested ice cream – her last meal.  I even heard my nephews and nieces singing “Jesus is my reward” while we’re on mourning.  They even understood that Nanay is in the better place where there is no pain to suffer with.

Somebody asked me how I took the death of my mother.  Well, I think, God prepared me in some ways.  When I told Nanay that her lifetime plan was fully paid in March 2018, she was delighted but I told her not to die within 5 years because we can’t get the insurance if she does which prompted her to smile.  There were moments that I saw the glimpse of it but I just ignored it and bind the spirit of death.  God also taught me how to rejoice in the midst of circumstances and He let me understand the essence of “The Joy of Waiting” (the script I worked with for the St. Nicholas presentation) and He granted the desire of my heart.

We need to remember always that before testing and trials comes, God will build us up through His word.  He will teach us first and strengthen us that we will not fail when the test of life came but to overcome it with joy and gladness in our heart.