The Sniper

“Oh sniper, when will you come? 

The target is just right there.

All you have to do is to take the risk.

Shoot to kill your target.

Sounds strange?  Certainly not.   I’m just using figurative words here (as I normally do).  Maybe, you will think that I’m weird (some says that) or paranoid but I’m not.  I’m just kind of pressured being single until now.  I mean, it’s not easy to handle per pressure in the family, in the office, as well as with friends and batchmates but it seems like I’m undergoing mental and emotional torture for being single.  Kind of annoying everytime people ask my age, my boyfriend or husband, if I’ve my own family or how many children do I have and so on and so forth. 

What is the matter for being single?  Does it add your investments?  Does it disturb you and your work?  Does the whole world care if you are still single?  Absolutely, not at all.  People just want something to talk with, make fun of you, criticize and even want your life miserable like them because their marriage life is not as successful as it should be.  Don’t get me wrong but those were merely observations.

You know, I’m not in a hurry of anything though I’m entertaining thoughts of “what ifs”.  There were things that happened in the past that I slightly regretted of.  Not a major decision but only minor incidents that took place to test my foundation as a woman.  I’m grateful to God that He did not allow things to happened, to let me enter into a relationship that will cause me harm and complication.

I encountered per pressure like why until now I’m single, what I’m waiting for and even a threat that maybe I can’t bear a child.  I heard it years ago and most especially now because according to them, I’m already in the border line.  Of course, a little bit of affected but I don’t care at all.  If the right or the true man comes, so be it, but if not, it’s not yet end of the world.

I can’t recall if it was in 2013 or 2014, I’m not really sure that I discovered this pattern which I used to do with the attempted suitors.  I mean, I’m practicing the pattern since college.  I would say, men/suitors find me weird and mysterious person because before they do things or say anything, I already knew it and even told them what will happen next.

Will share with you pointers how I do it.  I have a thought that maybe one day, these pointers will be used against me but I’m sharing this because I find it effective and applicable most especially for those who are seeking and waiting for their partner in life.  These pointers may be applicable for both man and woman actually. 

1)      KNOW YOUR TARGET.          Not too hard, right?  It is really and very important to know who you WANT and not just LIKE.  You have to be specific.  You have to set a goal.  What are your qualifications?  Who is really your target among the targets around you?  Sayings like “collect and select the best” is not advisable for me.  It’s just a waste of time.  Quit playing games with the heart because it will lead you into confusion one day.  You have to be determined who really is your target for you to be responsible of your action.

Everytime I’m the target, I normally bring the matter to God.  I prayed, “Lord, if this man is really the one for me, so be it Lord and prepare us spirit, soul and body as well as our respective family but if he is not Lord, then, let us depart in peace, don’t allow him to speak nor show his love to me and may we remain friends.”  It is really an effective prayer if you mean it.  Whether you are the target or you are looking for your target, bring the matter first to God, so that you will be guided.  (see Gen. 24 / the love story of Isaac and Rebekah)

2)    UNDER SURVEILLANCE.        This is the stage of getting to know each other or the stage of courtship and dating.  Don’t too rush in this area.  It will take time.  Short term or long term courtship is not a guarantee because there is always advantage and disadvantage, unless you are really called to be one and willing to take the risk.  This step will help you evaluate whether what you feel is love or just an infatuation.  If you were able to determine the level of your feelings, then, you have the choice to continue or not in pursuing that person.

I remember Garic, the coastguard I met in Boracay.  He once asked me if I did background check about him.  I denied at first to protect my interest but when he named my police investigator friend Aven, I admitted knowing that they were basketball playmates.  Why I did it?  Because I didn’t know him personally.  I mean, he was from Cebu assigned in Boracay.  I didn’t know exactly if he’s really single or just a tampered single.  I need to be sure.  I don’t want complicated relationship.  He was about to exceed to the boundaries I have set so I need to guard myself, so, after that conversation, he began to behave and distance himself from me.

If you already knew your target, start knowing that person by the heart.  Physical and outward appearance can be deceptive, so be careful.  Observe carefully how the target would react on certain things or problem.  Know your target very well before taking the next move.  Ask the help of others because sometimes, emotion can be deceived.  You have to be very careful in doing your surveillance because if the target knew about it, the latter can put the mask to mislead you.  Have a direct and indirect eyes and ears around your target.  Be ready for the sweet and sour comments, for you cannot please everybody.  This applies vice versa too.

3)     MAKE A PLAN.              This step is very seldom for some.  Setting goals is very important in a relationship.  Set a time when to let go your bullet and learn to be patient.  Make plans how to win your target (in a legal manner).  You can’t avoid the traitor way of winning your target but that way of method for me is a coward thing.  Maybe you will get the body but not the heart and for me, marriage is not a solution to cover up mistake.  If you insist to enter marriage because of that theory, it’s kind of suicide for me because you married that person because of shame and not because of love.  It’s not an ideal thing.  If you are the target, never show your weaknesses.  Don’t give an inch to show your weakest point because it could be used as a bullet against you.  

I remember SpongeBob where I waited for about 2 years to tell him that we are not meant to be even the people around us said so.  We are not committed to each other but very close friends.  It’s hard for me to keep the matter inside but I made a decision and plan when I’m going to tell him that he is not the one for me.  Over that 2 years, I prepared myself and rehearsed how to tell him.  By the grace and mercy of God, I was able to do so and we are still friends until today.

Make a plan whether or not you are ready to commit or not, whether your effort is worth fighting for or you are just chasing after the wind.  Know the consequences of your plan.  Is there any plan B, C, or D?  What is your plan?  Think about it carefully.  Guard your mind and heart with the word of God.  He will show you the perfect plan.

4)    SHOOT TO KILL.           This is not a literal thing to be candid.  Don’t get me wrong but again, figurative words.  When you are really pretty sure of your target, did your surveillance and made a plan, then focus and have the right timing to shoot to kill your target.  What do I mean by that?  Be ready for the bullet because it really hurts.  Prepare yourself whether or not your target accepts you or fool around you.  If you kill the target, good for you but if you were the one to be killed by your target, then, have the courage to be responsible person to accept the fact that you are not really meant to be.  You need to be strong inside in every decision.

I normally watch the words uttered by the attempted suitors because that is one way of proving themselves if they really love me of who I am or just curious why until now, I’m single.  There were words to believe into and words to promising only.  So I’m kind of very careful to that.  I see to it that what they said is what they do because if not, who’s talking anyway? 

There is always what you called, “perfect time” so don’t rush or else, your bullet will be spared.  Before giving yourself, you have to see whether or not you see yourself spending your lifetime with that person.  Don’t step in if you have doubts in your heart but if you do, you are brave enough to take the risk no matter what.  If you are in a relationship already, settle the issues of life within you so that when you enter into marriage life, you will have harmonious relationship.  It takes two tango, they said.

I’m not expert in the above stated methods.  I’m still in the process of learning things.  Maybe you will think that the reason why I’m still single is because I’m afraid to take the risk.  Maybe one of the factors but not the major thing.  I’m not closing doors.  It's my choice and I’m just waiting for the perfect time.  Besides, I am not yet the target of the sniper.  Yes, there were attempted suitors but most of them just stayed in 1 and 2 steps.  Some of them attempted to take step 3 and 4 but they don’t have enough courage and boldness to do so because they thought, they are not worthy of my love (that’s what they said).

As I heard annoying words from others like why I’m still single right now, I’m kind of careful with my heart because I know that God is making all things beautiful in His time.  I believe that my sniper is still on his training camp, to perfect how he might shoot me to kill.  All I need to do is to be patient in waiting upon the Lord’s command because one day, my sniper and I will meet in an open field, in our journey of faith.