There
were times in my life that I want to escape, to getaway, to sleep
without disturbance and a moment of silence because I feel like I'm suffocating. When the appointed time has come, I was kind of excited
because the long wait is over. I planned things as I wanted and
hoping that everything will be put into order and in place.
A
friend of mine welcome me at his place. He is my long distance
friend and we met occasionally. Since I was at his place, he
really made sure that I'm comfortable. I didn't know that days
before I came, he had marital problem. He assured me that I'm not
the reason because sometimes, his wife is jealous of me because of our closeness. I felt sorry for him because it seems like my coming was kind
of bad timing.
We had our tour in the city, dinner at the summit with our colleagues and drive through in the middle of the night. Tired, yes, but satisfied. I have in mind to enjoy my sleep as I wanted but guess what, I wasn't just alone in the room I booked. I was caught on the act unprepared when I went out of the bathroom. I thought, my friend already left after he accompanied me in my room with my suitcase but I was surprised when I saw him lying on my bed. Oh oh, it cannot be. I was troubled, as in. I panicked inside but I stayed calm. I went back to the comfort room and prayed, at the same time asked God what to do. I rebuked the spirit of lust and prayed for protection and safety. There is fear and anxiety but I tried to control my emotion. I stayed alert and observant to what will take place.
On the other hand, I know my friend. He will not do such immorality if ever. I knew in my heart that he was at his lowest point and eventhough I really wanted to comfort him by way of hugging him, I can't. I wanted to ask him if we can pray together about his marital problem but I can't. I really just can't. I don't know but there was a force hindering me to do it. At the back of my mind, prayer is the best thing I can do for him but if I'm going to lead the prayer, maybe things will turn out the other way. I mean, I had compassion on his situation and I want to comfort him as a friend but you know, I felt like, it's improper to do that. He is a married man and I'm single. For precautionary measure, I need to be careful of my actions. Besides, that was not just the issue there. I don't want to intervene in a situation that will cause complication later on. So, eventhough I really wanted to pray together with him, I choose to pray alone instead. That is safe for me.
We had our tour in the city, dinner at the summit with our colleagues and drive through in the middle of the night. Tired, yes, but satisfied. I have in mind to enjoy my sleep as I wanted but guess what, I wasn't just alone in the room I booked. I was caught on the act unprepared when I went out of the bathroom. I thought, my friend already left after he accompanied me in my room with my suitcase but I was surprised when I saw him lying on my bed. Oh oh, it cannot be. I was troubled, as in. I panicked inside but I stayed calm. I went back to the comfort room and prayed, at the same time asked God what to do. I rebuked the spirit of lust and prayed for protection and safety. There is fear and anxiety but I tried to control my emotion. I stayed alert and observant to what will take place.
On the other hand, I know my friend. He will not do such immorality if ever. I knew in my heart that he was at his lowest point and eventhough I really wanted to comfort him by way of hugging him, I can't. I wanted to ask him if we can pray together about his marital problem but I can't. I really just can't. I don't know but there was a force hindering me to do it. At the back of my mind, prayer is the best thing I can do for him but if I'm going to lead the prayer, maybe things will turn out the other way. I mean, I had compassion on his situation and I want to comfort him as a friend but you know, I felt like, it's improper to do that. He is a married man and I'm single. For precautionary measure, I need to be careful of my actions. Besides, that was not just the issue there. I don't want to intervene in a situation that will cause complication later on. So, eventhough I really wanted to pray together with him, I choose to pray alone instead. That is safe for me.
I was kind
of stunned in the corner looking at my friend sleeping on the bed. I'm really worried inside. There were thoughts like, what I'm gonna
do? Should I wake him up or not? I really want to sleep but how? What have I done, Lord? Why am I in this situation? I don't deserve this either. I don't want to
be Nicole noh (referring to The Legal Wife series). I would rather allow no
sleep in my eyes while interceding rather than to sleep in the
corner while my friend is around. I mean, for me, though no malice at all
but for the sake of respect to the wife and to myself too, I should do the right thing.
I waited for about 5 to 10 minutes until my friend woke up. He apologized because he slept on my bed. I apologized to him too and explained my side and why I can't accommodate him in my room. Eventhough there is no malice between us but to avoid gossip, he has to leave the room. I've pity on him because he said that, for about two days, he just slept in his car on the street. I tried to convinced him to get another room under my name but he declined and told me that he can manage himself. I know, he was kind of exhausted and need proper sleep but I just can't let him sleep in my room. I really had to deny him for a while to protect myself and our names also. I had inner peace after he left but still, I'm worried about him. I just prayed that God will protect and comfort him.
I waited for about 5 to 10 minutes until my friend woke up. He apologized because he slept on my bed. I apologized to him too and explained my side and why I can't accommodate him in my room. Eventhough there is no malice between us but to avoid gossip, he has to leave the room. I've pity on him because he said that, for about two days, he just slept in his car on the street. I tried to convinced him to get another room under my name but he declined and told me that he can manage himself. I know, he was kind of exhausted and need proper sleep but I just can't let him sleep in my room. I really had to deny him for a while to protect myself and our names also. I had inner peace after he left but still, I'm worried about him. I just prayed that God will protect and comfort him.
The
next morning, my breakfast was served in my room which surprised me because I did not order anything. My friend ordered it for me and we talked about what happened that night. He said that he didn't left immediately after he accompanied me in my room because he wanted to make sure that I'm already settled before he left but he fell asleep while waiting so that's what happened. He knew that
I worried so much when I saw him. Yes, as in. He saw that in my eyes and he has no intention or
anything, he clarified. He was just tired and exhausted because of
what happened. Though he never told me the details about his marital problem, I just respect his privacy. When our hearts were settled about it, I checked out and we visited our other friend that I longed to see also and then he dropped me off to the airport. I told him to find a place to have enough sleep because he deserves it. That was also the time that I hugged him, shook his hand with cash for his accommodation so that he can't resist anymore and
we departed in peace.
While on board, I felt relieved because I know that what happened was just a test and I guess, I passed it one way or the other. I'm grateful that God never leave me nor forsake me in that situation. It's worth praying and watchful.
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